14 years ago

Apparently, almost 14 years ago, I was a brooding 15 year old writing in my journal, feeling that I was weathering the “worst days of my life.” If only!

In unpacking my FINAL box I had labeled “office,” I came across a journal I wrote in from November 1995 – May 1996, during my sophomore year of high school. What a little drama queen I was! (Ok, so some things never change.) It’s filled with dramatic ramblings comparing song lyrics to my life, stories of lunch room dramas, feelings of rejection, and hoping so and so will keep her mouth shut about some secret or another.

I distinctly remember sitting on my hunter green carpet, listening to Celene Dion’s sad lyrics thinking she was speaking just to me and tearing up to the song “all by myself” while frantically scribbling in my journal about the end of the world. I was a moody one!

On Sunday, November 26th, 1995, “I just realized that my life is in one huge gigantic mess right now.”

Really, Alison, was it?

On Thursday, November 30th, 1995, I pondered:

“I often wonder who I will marry. I wish I could just find out. I want my life to speed up a little. I want to be grown up.”

Yeah, now I’m sitting here, 14 years later, still kinda wondering and wishing the same thing. Only instead of hunter green carpet, there’s a lime green wall. And instead of a journal, I have an online blog.

The only thing that’s missing is some Celene.

At least now I’m old enough, and wise enough, to know that even a trying time like this isn’t the end of the world. However, I definitely have earned my right now to listen to a good old Celene Dion love song, ponder the lyrics, and have a good cry into a bowl of ice cream. 🙂

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