22 days

Find a job you like and you add five days to every week. ~H. Jackson Browne

I wanted to be a lot of things when I grew up – it started out as a food server when I was little, then a lab technician or a corporate lawyer once I was in middle school, among many others I am sure. When I hit the later years in high school, when I started to realize I should start thinking what would be truly feasible to pursue in college, I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do.

I entered college wavering from undeclared, to business, to computer science. I pondered all the options – I thought of all sorts of things I wanted to do from psychology to forensic science. The unending options got the best of my indecisive self and I couldn’t commit to anything. Finally, my junior year, I changed my degree for the final time to Communication after falling in love with a speech class, just barely allowing myself to graduate on time after hopping around so many programs.

Once graduation was approaching, and the stress of needing to find a real job weighed on me, the idea of finding something directly relating back to what I loved so much about my Communication program quickly took a back seat. I was just ecstatic to land a job early that summer, even if it wasn’t even in the arena of what I was originally shooting for (HR – I so badly wanted to be an HR Generalist – the person who gave the employee orientations).

Now, 8.5 years, 3 companies, 5 job titles and a Master’s degree later, I’ve completely lost hope that I will ever gain any enjoyment or satisfaction from my 8-5 M-F gig. I always tell myself I work to live, not live to work. But, thinking of potentially supporting myself and being my own head of household for an unknown time period, it terrifies me to think I could work my life away doing things that make me feel blah. I know I need to make it a priority in my 30s to find a niche for myself that will feel rewarding, though I don’t know what that will look like yet.

A goal for the early part of my 30s is to try and revive my feeling about work. For starters, I am just incredibly thankful to have landed my new job. I recently learned the department I used to work in at my last company was completely dismantled. Tons of people have been laid off, and will be forced to re-apply, interview, and land newly created jobs or will be unemployed as of early December. I know being virtual out of state, I would have not fared well in that environment. I dodged a huge bullet.

So, tonight, on Sunday – the most depressing evening of the week, since Monday morning follows, I’m going to try and have a better internal attitude about it all. And have hope that someday I will finally figure out what I truly want to be when I grow up.


  1. Alison, I can list more friends our age that DON’T know what they want to be when they grow up (myself included) than those that do. You’re definitely not alone! Good luck in your quest and if you find any tips on how to figure it out, let me know!

  2. Before I run outside into the cold rain, I leave you with this to ponder:

    Few people know so clearly what they want. Most people can’t even think what to hope for when they throw a penny in a fountain. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

    (A bit of humor to start your week)

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