3 days

For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin–real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.– Alfred D. Souza

So my little blog project hasn’t been unfolding as I anticipated. (Though, my 20s didn’t either, so what did I expect? Ha.)

I had originally envisioned all these wise words and poetic blogs flowing, weaving together some magical tale that would unlock the meaning of my life, which would bring me to some wonderful Zen place and would clear all the hurdles in front of me aside. Clear them away so I could feel settled and purposeful.
Not so much! But . . . that’s okay.
That’s not what I really needed, anyway.

While this project hasn’t unfolded as I would have liked, since my blogs were often borderline lame, and while I couldn’t really blog about the deepest darkest things that have truly been making me feel conflicted, that’s okay. Because it at least made me think.
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking.
The terrain in my life has changed in the past few months and it’s really challenged me to think about who I am and what I believe in. As a result, I realize it’s given me a sense of truly knowing myself like I never could have before, and it gives me a conviction behind my values I didn’t have before. Now I know who I am and believe what I do, not just because I was raised a certain way or was simply told to believe a certain thing. But, because I’ve lived. And I’ve experienced it first hand.
I’m finally prepared to trade in my 20-something card, for my 30-something card.
I feel I’ve earned it.
And what better way to mark it all, than by celebrating like a rock star with some rock star friends!?! I have an awesome weekend planned ahead. I have a group of truly caring friends in my life who are rallying to ensure I have a very special celebration for this special milestone – equipped with cake, flowers, and even some surprises sprinkled in, or so I’m told.
(And to surprise me – that’s a very very impossible feat.)
For now, I’m off to savor the last Friday night of my 20s.
On my couch. With my cats.
Some wine. Some chocolate. And some really mindless reality TV.

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