a grammar lesson

“Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson. You find the present tense and the past perfect.” ~unknown
A lovely quote my mom shared with me last month that I find myself thinking about often lately.
Perhaps because nothing major is going on right now to focus on, I’ve found myself getting nostalgic for the past a lot lately. Not because I miss it by any means, but just because my mind wanders a lot when I should be doing something productive. I think a lot about how my adult life has unraveled, where I’ve been, how I’ve ended up where I am now and how to progress forward to ensure I continue to end up in places I want to be. This mindset can get me down if I dwell too long, though. It gives me the feeling I am waiting around for life to happen. I have to remind myself that I’m not waiting around for anything . . . this is it right now . . . and I can’t be so focused on what I did in the past or really what I want the future to be like. I risk missing out on the amazing present!
I think I also tend to get restless and a tad uneasy as the seasons change. In the past year, I’ve weathered tons of change and I’m exhausted from it. While change can be great, I’m a creature of habit and I like consistency and familiarity. This past year, each time the seasons transition, I find myself holding my breath and bracing for life to feel different once again. It’s a very hard feeling to put into words and I don’t know if anyone else can relate . . . but, it’s simply an unsettling feeling. Thankfully, the feeling is fleeting. Soon, spring will be here in full swing and hopefully whisk away the mental and emotional exhaustion I’ve carried with me for the past year.
Believe it or not, in just 6 short weeks, I will have survived a full year from “D Day.” A full year of forging ahead and planning a life for me as a single unit. I think that impending “anniversary” also has me reflecting inward on everything. But, that is a whole other post for another day.
Anywho. Enough of the stewing . . . this is why reality TV was invented. So, I can watch other peoples’ lives and dramas for a while and stop thinking of my own! 🙂

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