adios, 2009, don’t let the door hit you in the backside

I was reading the archive of my old blog the other night (I was searching for my olive cheese ball recipe) and came across my New Year’s Eve post from last year (the last time I made my olive cheese balls). Funny, because the only thing my life right now has in common with my life on 12/31/08, is that I’m making my olive cheese balls, haha. In my post on 12/31/08, I was pretty pumped for 2009 and couldn’t wait to see what the new year would bring. (I think if someone had given me a glimpse of where I’d be on 12/31/09, I would have never believed them.)

I kept reading the old blog for a while, feeling like a fly on the wall of someone else’s life. Then I stumbled on the last blog entry made in the Spring of 2009. The post simply described the innocent events of the day. All sounded normal enough, having breakfast, knitting, shopping, yet those events were what would change the course of my life. That day set everything in motion; my marriage, and life as I knew it, was over.

While time heals all wounds, I don’t think I will ever forget that fateful weekend. Or the couple of tumultuous months that ensued while I waded through the remnants of my old life and tried to plan for the new. And I hope I don’t forget (although, who could forget trying to pack up a portable storage unit all by oneself in 3-digit heat at 11:00 pm at night?). Those memories serve to keep many things in my life in perspective. As long as I can conjure up the feelings of that time period, I think I will be ok with where ever life takes me (even if I am fated to be a single, crazy cat lady), because things will always be better than where I’ve been.

After I was finished spying on my old life, I hesitantly drug my blog archive file over to the trash can. I waited a bit before I emptied it, but I did it and now it’s gone. It’s always unnerving letting go of those tangible mementos, since I can never get them back and I feel guilty destroying history, but it’s all part of the process. Letting go. I’m learning to appreciate lightening my load. Letting go is a good thing.

Now here we are – on the cusp of 2010 !!! I’m not even going to attempt to guess what the new year, and new decade!, will bring. Nor am I going to bother to make resolutions this year. (I know I won’t stop biting my nails or run a 5k, so why stress myself out?) I’m just going to focus on being happy, enjoying life, and having a little faith in the universe. If all else fails in the new year, at least I have a 30th birthday bash to look forward to planning :).

“Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get things right!” ~Oprah

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