december defriending

I cannot believe today is the first day of December. I feel like I say this a lot, but I truly am just floored at how fast time flies. When I run through 2011 in my head, it’s insane.

Today we were hit with a snow storm and I hope that’s a sign of things to come . . . as in, a White Christmas!

Anywho . . . in other news . . .

Yesterday, after reading a really interesting article here about a neat social experiment where a photographer is setting up meetings with literally over 600 people on her FB friend list . . . to capture an intimate photo in their home and to contemplate her relationship with them . . . it got me thinking about the kind of community I have generated on my friend list.

I decided to peruse my list.

In going down the line, I realized I do genuinely appreciate the updates from most people. Especially those I grew up with, it’s fun to see them as adults with their own new families. But, then, I ran across someone I don’t even know if I’ve ever said 5 words to – on or off-line. I’ve never even seen an update in my news feed from them, and if I did, I know I wouldn’t care. So, why should I keep them on my list? Well, I shouldn’t.

I’ve used the defriend feature only a handful of times before. And only in situations where it’s warranted. Never just because. I mean, in many ways, it’s kind of the ultimate form of virtual rejection. I’m not a fan of hurting people’s feelings.

But, two clicks later, and they were defriended.

Wow! It felt surprisingly good. And empowering!!!

I was very inspired by cutting that first someone out of my circle. I don’t owe any of those people anything . . . why do I care about possibly making them scratch their heads about why their FB number went down? So, I was inspired to go on a defriending spree and cut out those people I know really have no interest in me, nor me in them.

It wasn’t an exact science, but sort of . . . I went through my list and examined each name and asked myself . . . how do I know this person? Do I even like them and enjoy their updates? Will I ever see them again and have an awkward moment about why we aren’t friends on FB anymore? Would I feel comfortable with this person seeing pictures of my baby?

(If I had a baby, just sayin’.)

With all of those factors, and some others, weighed I axed 15 people in one swoop. It was addictive! Even when I was finished, my mouse clicker finger was still wanting more and I went up and down a few more times saying, “Ok . . . who’s next?!”

It felt good to do that virtual de-cluttering. Especially with 2011 quickly wrapping up and with all the new adventures and craziness inevitably to come in 2012, it was just time. Although, I know FB will always be a little political – there will always be those people you want to defriend, but just can’t.

Side note: Has anyone posted about something truly fabulous in your life on there and watched your numbers dropped? It cracks me up. Some people just can’t handle seeing others happy.


  1. I just did this last month but went through and cut a few more people that I had already hid their status updates and don’t speak to outside of Facebook.

  2. I’ve done that a few times too. It is kind of freeing. Never noticed #’s drop when I post about something good though, but I guess I really don’t pay much attention to how many friends I have on their either. Social networks are kinda funny.

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