december defriending

I cannot believe today is the first day of December. I feel like I say this a lot, but I truly am just floored at how fast time flies. When I run through 2011 in my head, it’s insane.

Today we were hit with a snow storm and I hope that’s a sign of things to come . . . as in, a White Christmas!

Anywho . . . in other news . . .

Yesterday, after reading a really interesting article here about a neat social experiment where a photographer is setting up meetings with literally over 600 people on her FB friend list . . . to capture an intimate photo in their home and to contemplate her relationship with them . . . it got me thinking about the kind of community I have generated on my friend list.

I decided to peruse my list.

In going down the line, I realized I do genuinely appreciate the updates from most people. Especially those I grew up with, it’s fun to see them as adults with their own new families. But, then, I ran across someone I don’t even know if I’ve ever said 5 words to – on or off-line. I’ve never even seen an update in my news feed from them, and if I did, I know I wouldn’t care. So, why should I keep them on my list? Well, I shouldn’t.

I’ve used the defriend feature only a handful of times before. And only in situations where it’s warranted. Never just because. I mean, in many ways, it’s kind of the ultimate form of virtual rejection. I’m not a fan of hurting people’s feelings.

But, two clicks later, and they were defriended.

Wow! It felt surprisingly good. And empowering!!!

I was very inspired by cutting that first someone out of my circle. I don’t owe any of those people anything . . . why do I care about possibly making them scratch their heads about why their FB number went down? So, I was inspired to go on a defriending spree and cut out those people I know really have no interest in me, nor me in them.

It wasn’t an exact science, but sort of . . . I went through my list and examined each name and asked myself . . . how do I know this person? Do I even like them and enjoy their updates? Will I ever see them again and have an awkward moment about why we aren’t friends on FB anymore? Would I feel comfortable with this person seeing pictures of my baby?

(If I had a baby, just sayin’.)

With all of those factors, and some others, weighed I axed 15 people in one swoop. It was addictive! Even when I was finished, my mouse clicker finger was still wanting more and I went up and down a few more times saying, “Ok . . . who’s next?!”

It felt good to do that virtual de-cluttering. Especially with 2011 quickly wrapping up and with all the new adventures and craziness inevitably to come in 2012, it was just time. Although, I know FB will always be a little political – there will always be those people you want to defriend, but just can’t.

Side note: Has anyone posted about something truly fabulous in your life on there and watched your numbers dropped? It cracks me up. Some people just can’t handle seeing others happy.

Comments

  1. I just did this last month but went through and cut a few more people that I had already hid their status updates and don’t speak to outside of Facebook.

  2. I’ve done that a few times too. It is kind of freeing. Never noticed #’s drop when I post about something good though, but I guess I really don’t pay much attention to how many friends I have on their either. Social networks are kinda funny.

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