late breaking news

It’s been quiet around here because everything that’s been essentially consuming our lives we’ve been keeping on the down low. But, we’re thrilled to [finally] announce we’re expecting our first baby in late August!

It’s going to be a long, hot summer :).

I guess we have a lot to catch up on now . . .

Word of warning – this post might be a little long and boring since today I’m just sharing more of the facts, but I’ll start the story back at the beginning through today . . .

We found out on December 15th, the morning of our Ugly Christmas Sweater Holiday party. I wish I had a cute story to tell, but unfortunately, I don’t! I was dying to test and woke up at 5:00 AM. I took two. I wasn’t expecting to see anything but a negative . . . and about fell on the floor when I saw two positives! All I could do was start screaming for He Who Shall Not Be Named, who was knocked out by a dose of Tylenol PM. He was groggy and it definitely wasn’t about to sink in at that hour.

So, I let him go back to sleep.

For about 5 minutes.

I took a third test, this time a digital, thinking the blaring word “PREGNANT” might shake him up a little more.

He Who Shall Not Be Named reacted a little more to the digital test, but was cautiously still excited, and it still didn’t sink in until I went to the doctor a few days later to get a blood test to confirm. It wasn’t until I got the call from the office saying, “Yes, you are in fact pregnant!” That he actually exhaled and said, “Oh my gosh, we’re having a baby!”

I had a month before my first doctor’s appointment with the OB. During the wait, everything seemed pretty “normal” – however you want to define normal! I’m learning NO two pregnancies are alike, even for the same woman sometimes and I’m definitely having my own unique experience . . . my worst symptom? Severe acid reflux that has made me really sick! (I still haven’t found a med that will make it go away; I’m only able to keep it somewhat controlled so I can at least function.)

By the time our first appointment arrived at 8 weeks, 1 day, I was ECSTATIC! I couldn’t wait to see our baby for the very first time!

The start of the appointment was so sweet. We saw the little gummy bear and heard the strong heartbeat. I looked over and He Who Shall Not Be Named was crying. It was an amazing moment!

The ultrasound tech seemed a little concerned though, but couldn’t really go into too much detail. Just said she’d like for me to make another appointment in a week for a recheck.

Panic just washed over me.

She went on to say that sometimes things work out, but that sometimes things can go south very quickly. She just wanted to ensure we would be the lucky ones to have it all work out.

I was devastated. And confused. We had just heard that amazing heart! There is really a little person in there! And now he might not make make it?!

So, we waited to meet with a nurse practitioner for the second half of my appointment to find out what was happening. I was so scared and all He Who Shall Not Be Named could do is tell me over and over it was going to be okay.

The nurse came in very somber. She explained I wouldn’t be getting my full appointment (all the new prenatal information and exam) and that they couldn’t deem the pregnancy viable yet. Essentially, the baby was measuring on time and looked great. However, the gestational sac the baby was in was measuring two weeks behind. So, basically, baby was crammed into a studio apartment when he really needed a three bedroom single family home to spread out in. (He Who Shall Not Be Named and I joked the baby needed to hire some contractors to do some renovating and build an extension!!)

She kept saying, “The baby looks great! But, the pregnancy does not.”

I was told to come back in a week and see where things were at that time. I looked down at the sheet she handed me and it said, threatened abortion. 

Is there no better way put it?!

She went on to counsel me on preparing to miscarry and what to expect.

We left a few minutes later just speechless. I was beyond crushed. WE HAD JUST HEARD THE HEARTBEAT . . . and now I was told they didn’t really expect it to be viable?! Why is life so cruel?!

He Who Shall Not Be Named was trying to stay positive and continued to assure me everything would work out. He was sweet enough to stay with me for the rest of the day because I was having a hard time holding it together and that wasn’t good for baby. We went to lunch and toured the tea factory . . . anything to try and keep my mind off of the appointment.

The following morning He Who Shall Not Be Named had to leave for a couple nights on a business trip. That evening, I started to get symptoms that I might be miscarrying. I PANICKED! I called my mom, I called April, I texted my other close friends who are moms and who I knew would understand and have some kind words and advice.

I delayed in calling He Who Shall Not Be Named, simply because he was far away and couldn’t do anything, but I finally called him, begging him to come home that night. Unfortunately, there was only one flight left for the day and he wouldn’t have been able to make it to the airport in time, but he was willing to leave a few things behind at the hotel if he could have made it, which was sweet. Thankfully, he was at least able to rebook onto the first flight the next morning so he could be home by breakfast.

That night he sat with me on FaceTime and had a pizza sent to the house. It wasn’t the same as having him home, but comforting nonetheless.

I sent a message to my doctor’s office asking what to do, took a Tylenol PM, and cried myself to sleep that night. By the next morning, I was feeling physically better, the symptoms never really picked up, but still mentally and emotionally wrecked. I hoped it was a false alarm, but still wasn’t ready to convince myself either way . . . I didn’t want to think the worst, but it was scary trying to get too attached to the idea of keeping the pregnancy, too.

We went up to the mountains for the weekend because I just couldn’t sit at home. I finally heard from my doctor’s office, who had made me a last minute appointment if I wanted to come in, but I wasn’t able to make it. Thankfully, I had my follow up for just three days later and I decided it’d be best to wait until then anyway. The nurse practitioner also emailed me some more details on what to expect, and since those things weren’t happening, I tried to remain as calm as I could.

The waiting game was sheer torture for me, though.

We went back Monday morning, a week after the first appointment, at 9 weeks. At the recheck, we were told the EXACT same thing! Given the same prognosis . . . except this time everyone was a little more optimistic since our little gummy bear was continuing to hang in there. We were able to get a recheck scheduled for the end of the week, since we were going out of town the following week, and there was no way I could have waited over 10 days to go back in!!!!

After that scan, while still not allowing them to term my pregnancy “viable”, I did feel better. I started to feel more positive about it all. I had so many friends and family praying and sending positive thoughts our way. So many people believed in our baby and I started to feel bad that I, baby’s own mother, hadn’t been so optimistic.

At 9 weeks, 4 days we were back yet again for a THIRD ultrasound.

The results?!

Everything looked normal and measured as it should! They FINALLY switched me to a “viable pregnancy” status and I was able to book my full prenatal exam and my 12 week ultrasound for the first trimester screening!

WOW!

A weight had truly been lifted and I felt I was finally able to sit back and enjoy my pregnancy!

And by enjoy, I mean sit back and continue to get hammered with acid reflux, nausea, gagging and vomiting! I think I said a few times this baby might be an only child at that rate!

Seriously, the first trimester is NO JOKE. There is absolutely NOTHING that can prepare a first time mom-to-be for it . . . no matter how many girlfriends have paved the way ahead of you!!!

Anyway . . . we had another successful ultrasound at 12 weeks and that was so much fun – the baby was hanging out upside down when the ultrasound started, just kicking his little legs like he was riding a bike. The tech had me cough to get him to flip – and he complied. It was awesome to see him looking like a baby and being so active.

Our next big appointment is at the end of week 15 when we have our GENDER SCAN! (I’m very confident baby is a boy. And that was the initial guess by our tech at the last scan, but we’re obviously not painting the nursery yet. I can’t wait to find out for sure!!!!)

I do have a lot more I want to talk about and share . . . but, I suppose this is quite a lot for now!

Rest assured, things are going to start picking up around here!

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