Life Lesson #5: a mother’s love.

momDear Charlie,

One year ago today we hoped for the best, but were told to prepare for the worst as we braced ourselves for your arrival. 32 weekers like yourself have a wide range of outcomes and there was no way to know your condition or how long of a journey you’d have until you were on the outside.

And on the outside was where you wanted to be and, so . . .

On Wednesday, April 30th, 2014 at 10:07 AM – at just 32 weeks, 4 days – you greeted us with a little squeak and a wail and a head full of blonde fuzz.

I couldn’t see you, but the anesthesiologist at my head, who kindly wrapped me in warm blankets as I shivered from surgery and medication, gave me the first description . . . “He has lots of blonde hair and he looks just like you!” She kept talking, kept me distracted, as they worked to stabilize you. I had no clue at the time you had stopped breathing. Everyone worked quickly and quietly . . . until finally you were stable and were walked over to my bedside.

I couldn’t see your itty bitty face, it was covered with a large oxygen mask, but I was able to kiss your precious, warm cheek, and to tell you that I love you before you were whisked away to the NICU. I laid alone in recovery, in shock over your early arrival, wondering . . . is he going to be okay?

From day one you met and exceeded all best case scenarios, though. You were not only okay, you were GREAT!

Excepted to have a hospital stay of somewhere between 5-8 weeks, you were discharged just shy of three. I remember asking any doctor or nurse who crossed my path the night before we brought you home . . . “Are you sure he can come home now? Is he going to be ok?

Everyone smiled and said, “He’s going to be just fine, Mama. We promise.

In the past year of being your mom, I have found myself asking those same questions thousands of times regarding all sorts of things . . . is he going to be okay?

And time and time again you prove me wrong . . . you are not only okay, you are amazing!

That’s when I remind myself that, Charlie, if your entrance into this world is any indication of how you’ll tackle life – I have no doubt you’ll always, always be just fine.

More than fine.

You are strong and determined and impatient and silly and feisty and sweet.

And you are so very, very loved.

Thank you for coming into this world and teaching me about love and patience and determination . . . and so much more. I am so excited for the years to come, having you as my little side kick – getting to watch you grow and see who you become.

I love you more than you’ll ever know.

Happy first birthday, mister mister. Here’s to many, many more!

Love,

Mama

xoxo

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