life’s a beach

In a month from now, I will be in Hawaii with the boyfriend and some friends of ours, soaking up some rays, sipping a mai-tai or ten, and getting a much needed break from work.  Perhaps I will even be lucky enough to pet a dolphin or brave enough to go sky diving against that breathtaking back drop . . . but, that’s all TBD. One thing is for sure, though . . . I am absolutely ecstatic about going and am counting down the days like a kid to Christmas!!!

However, the one thing I haven’t been uber-excited about is my completely un-beach ready bod. The thought of walking across the beach in my swimsuit is panic inducing. Mainly because, the last time, and the only time, I was on a beach vacation . . . I was in my early 20s, I had a great tan, and I was 35 lbs. lighter. No joke:

Cancun (44).
So, in panic mode, I decided last week I was going to have to do something ASAP. I decided on the Special K Challenge. I mean, I love cereal, couldn’t be that hard, right? But, I lasted maybe three days before I wanted to chuck my cereal box out the window on the way to the McDonald’s drive thru. By Thursday, I was eating greasy pizza for dinner, and after a weekend packed with a night in Vail and celebrating Easter, I completely fell off the wagon.

I spent yesterday and today moping a bit and being really disappointed in myself. To the point of being jealous of my old self and wondering why I can’t muster up the same amount of will power I used to have to maintain a size 00??

But, I know why I can’t . . . because while I didn’t mind unhealthily torturing myself at age 23 . . . at age 30, I love and respect myself too much to put my body through that.

Now, taking another look at my old photos . . . I’m certainly not jealous of them . . . they just make me incredibly sad.

What I wouldn’t give to jump through my computer screen to give my younger self a huge hug and a double cheeseburger!

Anyway, after a little dose of perspective tonight . . . I’m going to stop panicking over my weight and start giving myself some credit. I may not be where I want to be physically . . . as far as leading a balanced, active and nutritious, lifestyle (that will always be a work in progress for me) . . . but, that’s okay. I’ve come an incredibly long way from hell and back since I stood on that beach in Mexico as skin and bones seven years ago.

And, if some extra pounds are the only baggage I’ve taken away from that chapter in my life . . . I count myself very lucky.

So, who’s got two thumbs, a one piece swimsuit, SPF 50, and is ridiculously happy??

This girl!

Comments

  1. Oh, Al – you have come such a long way! You’re such a different person than you were then. You were who everyone else wanted to be and didn’t realize the power you had over yourself and in your life and controlled your weight instead. I’m so happy for you that you’ve made it to the other side now and am super excited to see pics of you guys in Hawaii!

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