on love

It’s February – the month of Valentine’s Day – and this year I am actually pretty ecstatic about the holiday – the holiday that usually induces eye rolling and a cynical attitude on my part. This year, the upcoming Hallmark holiday signifies so much more than just chocolates and flowers and sappy cards and me pretending that I don’t believe in love, clad head to toe in black . . . this year, the day represents my own wonderful love story and also a personal transformation.
Last year, on Valentine’s Day, I had my first “date” (it wasn’t really a date, but looking back, it might as well have been) with He Who Shall Not Be Named. We shared a couple bottles of wine, some appetizers and six hours of conversation that jump started an amazing friendship and a bond that neither one of us were yet aware of.
The past year that has ensued has been quite a journey . . . I think we’ve both learned a lot about ourselves and about relationships in the process as we’ve stumbled down this road of dating and falling in love together. And now today, I realize I’ve not only gained a partner I adore to pieces that I simply refuse to ever live without, I’ve also realized the experience has also changed me in ways I could have never initially imagined.
Coming out of my divorce I had a somewhat know-it-all attitude about love and relationships. I had been taught some hard lessons, lessons which I initially thought taught me that fairy tales don’t exist. That sickeningly sweet and happy couples were simply trying to hide something. That in real life and love, relationships were hard and take work and were often just lonely places to be. I thought love meant sometimes bringing out the worst in other people.
However, now I’ve learned what they say is true . . . when you meet the right guy, everything changes. And I realize I misinterpreted what many of the lessons I thought I learned.
Because now? Now I’m a believer. Where I once took a hard stance that fairy tales don’t exist . . . I find myself living in my own. Where I once believed relationships were hard and took exhausting effort . . . I find myself enjoying the effort, all a labor of love. Where I once thought relationships could often feel like the loneliest place to be . . . I find that I never feel alone, even when He Who Shall Not Be Named is often thousands of miles away. And where I didn’t understand how love could bring out the best in someone . . . I find myself wanting nothing more than to be the best version of myself I can be, because love has given me the confidence to believe that’s even possible.
And, at the core of it all . . . I’m simply just so happy I’ve been proven wrong about it all.
So, this year on Valentine’s Day, I’ll find myself back at the same bar. With the same amazing guy. Taking advantage of the same awesome drink specials. And probably doing the same amount of people watching. But, instead of our conversation consisting of complaints about internet dating and jerks who don’t return calls and acting like I don’t need no man . . . I’ll be able to tell him how much I love him and appreciate him in my life. And thank him for teaching me that it’s okay to need a man. And to thank him for making me feel needed, too.
Happy February, all . . . happy month of love . . . and happy almost one year to the love of my life!


  1. I’m so happy for you guys! And I love that He Who Shall Not Be Named loves and adores you the way you’ve always deserved to have been cherished and appreciated! ((Hugs))

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