our story: part 1

It’s been one week since our engagement and I’ve finally found some time to sit down and share our story . . . our whole story, haha!
I’m going to go back to the beginning, since much of my blogging on the subject has been vague. And for the sake of making it more readable, I’m breaking it into two parts. Part one, the summary of the past year; and part two, our proposal. So, if you want to read it all . . . you might want to get up real quick and grab a cup of coffee and a snack to enjoy first, just sayin’.
I’ll wait for you, though, I promise!
Anywho, all set?
So, it’s hard to pinpoint exactly when we started down this road of engagement and marriage. But, a year ago when I first started dating He Who Shall Not Be Named, I’d joke with friends and say he was the boy I was going to marry. I even got hooked on wedding blogs and I’d daydream with April about everything marriage. Of course, at that time I certainly didn’t know that he’d truly be my future hubby, but I can say that I have definitely always felt a connection to He Who Shall Not Be Named. Even if I didn’t initially understand why or what it meant, I knew I wanted him in my life.
The spring flew by from there and we spent a lot of time together, even vacationing in Hawaii and spending a lot of weekends in the mountains. In May and June, though, things started feeling off. For whatever reason, we weren’t really being ourselves and our relationship was coming to a standstill. It was frustrating and heartbreaking – it was evident we both enjoyed the other’s company so much, we wanted the relationship to work, so it was hard to understand why things just weren’t coming together. We made the decision to break up on Fourth of July weekend (oh, Independence Day, haha) and I prepared myself to get back to being single and ready to mingle. I went through the motions and did what I could to move on, but something was still off . . .
It felt like I was missing a piece of myself.
(Remember when I started getting totally loony and was going to move out of state? Yeah, I really wasn’t myself.)
I emailed some with He Who Shall Not Be Named during that month off. Just little silly things you might email with a crush in a junior high. We never spoke or saw each other, but those emails were always the highlight of my day. He finally gave in and called me a few weeks later (good thing, too, because I would have never picked up the phone!!!). He Who Shall Not Be Named never leaves me voice mail, but he did that day. His message was cute, he cracked a little joke, and he sounded nervous (I still have it, but he won’t let me play it for him, haha).
I replayed the message 100 times and analyzed it to death before I finally decided to call him back the next day.
When I called him back, I tried to act too cool for school. I brushed off our failed relationship as being no biggie, tried to make light of it all, and we shared guarded tales of what we’d been up to (though, He Who Shall Not Be Named reads my blog, so I’m sure he knew I was 50% full of crap). We made plans to see each other at a mutual friend’s wine and cheese party at the end of that month. Other friends started making bets we’d get back together. I was still trying to act too cool for school (I just had read this book, GREAT advice for girls BTW) and laughed the predictions off. But, I bought a new dress and had my hair done.
I didn’t know what’d it be like seeing him, but I did know I wanted to look my best!
Then, we saw each other for the first time – and that was all it took. We spent more time talking to each other than anyone else that night.
It felt like I had my missing piece back.
So it goes the predictions were right . . . and in August, we slowly started dating again. We went white water rafting together and had lots of frozen yogurt dates.
By September, there was no denying we were inseparable and in love. I even went home with him to meet his family.
By October and November, we were cautiously talking long term together. We both were starting to realize this wasn’t a fading partnership and we were in it for the long haul.
In December, after Christmas passed, we were surprised at how hard it was to be seperated during the holiday and vowed to never spend another one apart.
In January, we finally had our official “defining the relationship” talk, or DTR as singletons refer to it. We laid all our cards on the table and happily agreed we were on the same page and knew we wanted to get married . . .
Enter the fun stage of: pre-engagement!
Once it was put out there and we knew were getting engaged and married – it was SO HARD for me to stay patient and way for it all to unfold. Not being in control of the how and when it’d all happen drove me nuts! I’ve become even more of a control freak in the past few years and more set in my own ways . . . it was huge test to have to step back and put my faith in him to execute and commit to this next step. My lease was ending in March and He Who Shall Not Be Named knew I didn’t want to move in without being engaged – we both agreed at this stage in our lives we didn’t need to play house or have a roommate.
I called April no less than 10 times some days just to gush about it all. And I found myself, the girl who swore she’d NEVER have a wedding and would just elope, completely ready to throw myself into planning. And I did have a couple crazy girl moments, I must admit . . . I ordered a pair of designer of wedding shoes online (but promptly mailed them back. Well, only because they didn’t fit). And I even wore my grandmother’s ring (she would have laughed) and went dress shopping with April for fun one afternoon (and ended up finding and unexpectedly falling in love with the LAST dress in my size . . . so, I bought it, with a full return policy as an out. He Who Shall Not Be Named just found out about that this weekend, haha, and can’t say he was surprised). And I also emailed with wedding venues and got pricing and dates.
I was ready.
Also during these months, everyone placed bets about when it’d happen. Some thought for sure V-Day (too predictable to He Who Shall Not Be Named), others thought in Winter Park for Snowapalooza weekend, others were CONVINCED it happen this past weekend in Costa Rica. Me? Well, I was convinced he’d show up at my apartment on March 31st with a moving van wrapped in Will You Marry Me?
But, nope, it did not happen on any of those days . . .

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