statistically speaking

Today I went in to officially shut down the good ‘ol internet profile. I turned off matching a week or so ago since I haven’t been using it, but finally figured out today how to take my whole profile down (they don’t make it easy).

I had a nice laugh when after about the third time of asking me if I was sure I wanted to close it, they threw out the final blurb, before allowing me to hit “Close” for the final time (you may need to click to enlarge):


Wow. Talk about depressing. If that is their argument to get me to stay, throwing out those statistics, yuck. Someone needs a new corporate communications department, marketing person, or whoever it is they have writing this stuff.

Then, after logging out, they throw out this gem of an advertisement . . .


But, wait, you just reminded me how statistically speaking I will most likely end up in an unhappy marriage because of how confusing and difficult it will be for me to meet the right person without your service I just canceled!

So, now, I’m just wondering how throwing an overpriced designer ring in my face is effective, targeted marketing?? Perhaps an ad for a pet boutique with coordinating owner and pet clothes with such slogans as, “World’s Puurrr-fect Mom!” (for me) and “World’s Puuurrr-tiest Cat!” (for T and T)?? I mean, I’ll need those outfits for all my crazy cat lady Christmas card photos I’ll be taking, seeing as I am obviously incapable of finding a good match without the help of eHarm . . .

Okay, it was funnier in my head!

(I would love to know, though, how many people who DO end up married as a result of eHarmony end up buying Tacori rings??)

Anyway. So, really the whole point of this post is that, sorry readers, no more internet dating stories about how I have to awkwardly sum up my divorce story, watch a bowl of chips go up in flames, or walk around some Fun Plex with a put-put club.

Because . . . I’m actually dating someone. And I didn’t meet him online.

For now, we’ll call him S, and I’ll give him a proper blog debut at a later date . . . so, stay tuned.


  1. Way to throw conflicting info at you! They want you to keep their service so they throw the guilt at you but then they want to make money and keep their advertisers happy so they throw jewelry at you?! Ugh!

    So happy you’re seeing someone – can’t wait to hear all about him!

  2. YOU SUCK! Way to lead up and then SLAM the door! WOuld you hurry up already and write about “S” Sexy? Steve? Seductive? Sensitive? Sebastian? Single? Okay I tried!

  3. Congrats Alison! That’s exciting!

  4. I’m guessing “S” is for Sexy.

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